Pampered versus non-pampered moms

I’ve never understood, even as a mom, why other mom’s feel the need to compete with each other. I get it, as a woman, it’s almost a primal instinct to compete with other women. But we are civilized people now for fuck’s sake(well, at least I think we are…) and we shouldn’t be competing with each other over stupid shit. We compete to see who’s the better mom, who has the better behaved children, who feeds their kids the best food, who has the most safe car seat, who is the most crunchy, etc fucking etc.

For me, the most annoying competition among moms is the pampered versus non-pampered moms competition. Of all the things you can compete with another mom over, why the fuck would you choose that? Aren’t a lot of women these days advocates for other women and their imperfect looks? I mean, really….

What got me thinking about this was a status update from Baby Sideburns on Facebook. I love Baby Sideburns. She’s hilarious, and she’s a real mom. She finds the humor in parenting, and doesn’t hesitate to share her own imperfections in a funny light. This was her post for today….

You know what totally sucks? When you’re looking at some super hot nanny take care of a little toddler and suddenly the toddler looks up and calls her mom. WTF, she’s a mom and she looks like that? Okay, now I feel even shittier about my frizzy ponytail and mom jeans. Didn’t think that was possible.

This post managed to spark an annoying argument among the other women about pampered moms versus non-pampered moms. It started with a few ladies commenting that it doesn’t really take that much time to do your hair, your makeup, wear nice clothes, etc. Other moms were quick to chime in, claiming that they haven’t “let themselves go” just because they prefer a quick routine of throwing their hair in a pony tail, putting on some yoga pants and a shirt that went with it. And theeeeeeeen, the pampered moms started arguing that the other moms were just jealous.


Jesus Effing Christ. What is the whole point of feminism? That as a woman we get to make our own choices about our lives without a man or anyone else telling us how we need to live our lives. Fellow women should not only be respectful of those choices, but they should be completely supportive. Why is it considered letting yourself go just because you don’t want to do your hair every morning, put on makeup, and follow fashion? And why is doing your hair and makeup, and being fashionable low on the priority list just because you have a family?

Whatever you choose to do on the looks scale, you shouldn’t feel bad about it, nor should you make other moms feel bad about it. I like to do my hair and makeup, and dress nice…. some days. But other days I’m perfectly happy hanging around the house in a pony tail and my mismatched pajamas. Who the fuck cares? Does it really reflect me as a mom? Uuhh, no. It just means that I’m comfortable with myself, and I don’t let my hair style, makeup habits, and clothes define who I am.

As soon as you start criticizing other moms about their beauty routine, food choices, parenting style, you’re just showing the whole world how insecure you are. How fucking sad is that?

We shouldn’t judge other moms on their choices. Being a mom can be incredibly lonely. Our friends, husbands, co-workers, and a lot of the world do not understand what life as a mom is like. But other moms do, and we need to support each other, damnit! We shouldn’t be so hung up on the differences between us, because ultimately, with all the parenting choices and beauty choices set aside, we are the same because we have children we love and care for.

If we can’t be on the same team, we lose every battle we pick to fight against each other.


One thought on “Pampered versus non-pampered moms

  1. Love this! I’ve gotten (at different times, of course) both “You should spend more time looking nice for your husband (WTF??). You know, do your hair, put on a little lipstick…” AND I’ve gotten “How do you have time to do your makeup and hair and an ironed dress!” Who cares how I look, I’m mostly wiping up crap and stepping on Legos!

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