Gordon Ramsay’s beef wellington


Beef Wellington is one of the few “fancy foods” I have really wanted to take a stab at for a while. I mean it’s beef filet(my favorite cut) and covered in a puff pastry. Hello delici-gasm! That being said, it is an intimidating recipe to consider. I mean if you’ve ever watched Hell’s Kitchen, surely you’ve seen too many chefs screw this one up under pressure. Those wankers! But after going over the recipe, it actually doesn’t seem too terribly difficult. Here is the recipe for beef Wellington straight from my Gordon Ramsay’s cookery source app(that can be downloaded here). The original recipe calls for chestnut mushrooms, but I’m omitting them from the recipe because I’m sure most of you(myself included) don’t know where the fuck to find these mushrooms, or probably cannot justify paying a high price for mushrooms(unless they’re the magic kind, of course!). If you would like the full recipe, you can find it on BBC Good Food.

  • Two pounds beef filet
  • Twelve slices prosciutto
  • One pound package puff pastry
  • Flour for dusting
  • Two egg yolks, beaten

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a roasting pan, lay beef filet in the center and brush with olive oil. Roast in the oven for 15 minutes(medium rare) or 20 minutes(medium). Please, for the love of God, no matter what your level of picky-ness tells you, do not roast it to anything above medium. Beef filet is best at medium rare or medium! Do this sexy piece of meat some justice! When it is finished roasting, take it out of the oven too cool. AFTER you let it cool(putting any food that is hot directly in the fridge is BAD BAD BAD), chill in the fridge for about 20 minutes.

While your beef filet is cooling, lay two pieces of cling film(serran wrap) over your surface. Make sure they overlap. Add prosciutto slices on the cling film, slightly overlapping each other in a double row. Place the cooled filet on top of the prosciutto slices, and use the cling film to assist in wrapping the filet in the prosciutto. Roll it like a sausage(mmmmm, sausage!), twisting the cling film at the ends. Chill in the fridge for about 20 minutes.




Dust your work surface with a little flour. Roll 1/3 of your puff pastry into a strip large enough to place the filet on and place on a baking sheet. Roll the remainder of the puff pastry and set aside. Carefully unwrap the cling film from the wrapped filet, and place in the middle of the strip of pastry. Take your beaten egg mixture and brush the pastry’s edge that the beef filet is on, and the sides of the filet. Carefully drape the larger piece of pastry over the filet. Trim the excess so there is just enough to join the two pieces with a fork(just like you would when you are putting the top crust on a pie). Take the remainder of the yolk mixture and brush over the entire top pastry. With the back of a knife, mark the wellington with long diagonal lines, but make sure you don’t cut the pastry. Chill for 30 minutes, or if you’re not doing this this right now without having read the instructions ahead of time, you can chill it for up to 24 hours.

Bake 20-25 minutes for medium rare, 30 minutes for medium. Stand for ten minutes before serving in thick slices.



Bacon burgers with gorgonzola cheese and caramelized onions..

I saw a recipe on Relish called bacon and blue cheeseburgers. It seemed really appealing to me except for the blue cheese. I’m a total cheese lover(you would totally believe that if you saw my jean size!), although I’m not very fond of blue cheese. I wanted something slightly milder tasting than blue cheese. I recently tried gorgonzola cheese and I was instantly in love. The flavor and appearance are really similar to blue cheese, although it doesn’t have that “bitter” taste to it as much. If you don’t like either cheeses, feta would go great with this recipe as well. I don’t recommend using other cheeses besides those three. You mix the cheese in with the ground beef, and crumbled cheeses like blue cheese, gorgonzola, and feta don’t melt the same as other cheeses. I suppose you could use goat cheese as well, but yuck. That shit is gross, it literally tastes the way goats smell. The thought makes me shudder. Anyway…. I also decided to add caramelized onions to put on top of the burgers, as this goes really well with the flavor of the cheese.

Before I get started on the recipe, I wanted to get a little into the ground beef I use whenever I  make burgers. I have a fancy shmancy stand mixer, and to go along with it I have a meat grinder attachment. I love, and I mean LOVE, grinding my own meat. First of all, you know your ground beef is coming from ONE cow. It also doesn’t have added water to it. The flavor, over all, is just so much more amazing. And the best part is you can use all different cuts of meat. I really love using sirloin. If you do not have your own meat grinder, or a meat grinder attachment to go with a stand mixer, you can always have your cut of meat ground for you at the store. I promise, you will never buy ground beef EVER again. Did I mention you can also grind bacon and mix it into your burger mix? Effing yum!

  • One pound ground sirloin or chuck roast.
  • Five ounces of bacon, chopped and fried until crispy.
  • Four ounces gorgonzola cheese.
  • One egg.
  • One teaspoon salt.
  • Two large red onions, sliced.

Break up ground sirloin into a large bowl. Add egg and mix thoroughly. Gently add in bacon and cheese until combined. Add salt.

Shape into four-inch wide and 3/4 inch thick patties.


Check out those beautiful patties!

Preheat pan on high heat. Sear on both sides, and cook to your personal preference. Note: if you are using freshly ground beef, it does not take as long to cook, so be careful not to over cook them.

Add a little butter and olive oil to a pan on high heat. Add onions, and a bit of salt. Saute until they are nice and caramelized. Place on top of burger patties.


Enjoy, bitches!

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day laddies!

I have a love/hate relationship with Saint Patrick’s Day. I love it because I’m Irish. Wait, the foul-mouthed, sarcastic, wine drinking single mom is Irish?! I know, try not to be too shocked! But I also hate it because I find it so fucking obnoxious that people still threaten to pinch me because I refuse to wear green. First, green isn’t my color. Second, how the fuck is that celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day? It’s all good, anyone that knows me well, knows that they might get a fist in their face if they decide to pinch me.

Anyway… I work from home, and Sundays are my busiest day of the week! My whole family works today also(we run a business), so I’m going to try to get around making cottage pie. If I do manage to get off my ass, away from this computer and into the kitchen long enough to pull it off I will post some pictures. Aye, bitches!

So, cottage pie is like shepherd’s pie, but with beef instead of lamb. The thought of eating lamb  makes me feel like an evil person on the inside, as I have a hard time eating baby animals(however my mom is pretty close to convincing me to make leg of lamb for Easter, we shall see!). But all I’ve got in that freezer of mine is ground beef, so that’s what’s going in it. Cottage pie is pretty much as Irish as you can get, with cheap meat, cheap vegetables, and mashed potatoes on top. You can’t really argue with that in my opinion! There are different recipes for cottage pie, so I decided to go through some of them and put together one I thought would taste the best. The mashed potatoes on top are a recipe my mom created years ago that you’re sure to love, trust me.

  • One pound ground chuck.
  • One tablespoon olive oil.
  • Two medium red onions, diced.
  • Two carrots, peeled and diced.
  • Two teaspoon Worcesterrrsherrrdeberrrr sauce.
  • Two teaspoons fresh thyme, stems removed.
  • Salt and pepper to taste.
  • One tablespoon all-purpose flour.
  • One cup beef broth.
  • Two cups red wine. 1/4 for the pie, the rest for drinking!
  • One tablespoon tomato paste.
  • Two pounds red potatoes. The recipes I’ve seen call for Yukon gold. You try to peel those tiny little fuckers and tell me how that works out!
  • Four tablespoons butter.
  • 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream.
  • Two cloves garlic, pressed or minced.
  • 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese.

Heat a large skillet over medium  heat. Add ground beef and cook, breaking up with a spoon until browned. Remove beef from pan and set aside. Want your dogs or cats to love you more than God? Mix the drippings with their food!

Add olive oil to pan. Add onions and saute until they begin to caramelize. Add carrots and cook for five minutes.

Add beef, Worcesterrrsherrrdeberrrr sauce, thyme, half of your salt and pepper to vegetables. Stir in flour. Add beef broth, wine and tomato paste. Stir well. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for thirty minutes.

While your beef mixture is simmering, prepare the potatoes. Peel, cut in to quarters, and put in a pressure cooker or a regular sauce pan. Cook on high heat until the potatoes are tender. Drain well in a colander. Place potatoes and heavy whipping cream in a bowl or stand mixer. Take your butter and pressed or minced garlic into a microwave safe bowl and microwave until butter is melted. Doing this gives the butter a very nice garlic flavor. Put butter and garlic in with your potatoes and cream and mix on full speed until fully whipped. Add remaining salt and pepper, stir completely.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Transfer beef mixture into a large baking dish. Spread mashed potatoes evenly over the top. If you feel like over achieving, make them look fancy! I could care less. Sprinkle cheese on top. Bake for twenty-five minutes, until mashed potatoes are golden brown. Let stand for five minutes before serving.

Enjoy this recipe if and when you decide to make it. This is the kind of comfort food that will convince you you’re pregnant with a food baby! And please, if you make any recipes I’ve posted here, feel free to send me pictures and tell me how you like it!