How funky is your chicken?

Lots of people these days, especially those with families, are on a budget it seems when it comes to what’s cooked for family meals. What’s frustrating, to me, is when I’m looking for recipes online and it feels like all I can find are recipes with expensive ingredients, or ingredients I’m just not going to use for much of anything else. Pork tenderloin, beef filets, fancy ass cheeses and fresh herbs can all be pretty fucking expensive! One ingredient that is not expensive, however, is chicken! But with chicken, you can find yourself making the same dishes over, and over again.

I really love chicken, and recently I’ve been on a mission to try new and tasty things with it. I’ve found and tried some really fantastic recipes for chicken, and I wanted to share them here 🙂


Cheddar Jalapeno chicken burgers with guacamole. I made these last week, and they were so delicious! I found the original recipe on What’s Gaby Cooking, but I made some changes to it, and included my own guacamole recipe. My recipe can be found here 🙂


Baked chicken stuffed with pesto and cheese. I really love stuffed chicken breasts. It’s easy to do, there are so many options, not to mention it’s fucking delicious. This particular recipe is looking great to me because I love pesto, and I love cheese. You can find this recipe on Food To Cook.


Fried chicken FTW! Fried chicken is not only a classic and a family favorite, but it’s a definite indulgence. It’s crispy on the outside, and juicy on the inside! Problem is, there are so many fried chicken recipes online and it’s hard to find a truly good one. But I turned to Martha Stewart for this one.


Honey-lime chicken skewers. I am making this tonight! A few weeks ago I basted a roasted chicken with a honey glaze, and it was so good! I think the combination of honey and lime sounds divine. This recipe can be found on Kitchen Meets Girl.


Chicken Parmesan meatballs. I love meatballs. I love chicken. Chicken meatballs stuffed with cheese? Fuck me sideways. These look really easy to make, and they look effing delicious to boot! Thank you Recipe By Photo for this one!


Cheddar jalapeno chicken burgers with guacamole

A few weeks ago, a friend on Facebook posted about discovering ground chicken. I made a face. I love chicken, but the visual of ground chicken made me want to throw up and eat it. I don’t know why I felt that way. Probably because raw chicken kind of grosses me out, so the thought of ground raw chicken furthered that feeling of gross-ness.

Yesterday I changed my opinion on ground chicken when I saw a recipe for cheddar jalapeno chicken burgers with guacamole. I made them tonight for dinner, and sweet baby Jesus they were amazing!




  • One pound ground chicken breast
  • One cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 cup white onion, chopped and sautéed
  • One fresh jalapeno, finally chopped without the seeds(unless you want to die)
  • One tablespoon ground cumin
  • One teaspoon salt

Easy as pie, mix all the shit together and form into patties. I recommend making them as flat as possible. The first one I grilled was too thick, and it took an annoyingly long time to cook all the way.

Now for my guacamole recipe! I get annoyed when I see guacamole recipes online, they are weak! Guacamole should be full of flavor!

  • Three medium, ripe avocados
  • 1/4 cup red onion, chopped
  • 1/4 cup cilantro, minced
  • One tablespoon sour cream
  • One teaspoon mayonnaise
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • One teaspoon lemon pepper(this is KEY, believe me!)
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
  • Splash of lime juice

With a fork or potato masher(or whatever the fuck those things are called), mash the avocados in a bowl. Add onion, cilantro, sour cream, mayonnaise, salt, lemon pepper, cumin and lime juice. Mix together. I promise you will love this guacamole more than life itself.


Roasted chicken with garlic and thyme and parmesan garlic fries.

Right now I am preparing dinner. I got a bit of a late start, like, it’s 7:30 and my chicken has just met the oven. One thing about being a mom to a feisty two-year old, is you can always count on dinner time being pretty erratic. So yeah, my kid is going to bed without dinner. Relax, he got some cheerios. Had to give the boy something….

Anyway! Tonight I’m making a roasted chicken with garlic and fresh thyme, along with garlic parmesan fries. Effing yum! I wanted to roast another chicken(since I still had 3 in the freezer). I decided to keep it simple tonight by using fresh thyme and garlic. While preparing my chicken, I couldn’t help but notice the neck was still long and disgusting looking. Nothing will take the sexy out of a roasted chicken like a giraffe neck. The parmesan garlic fries are something we make frequently in this house. Growing up in Central California, there is this awesome restaurant called McClintock’s. Awesome place to go to if you’re ever in San Luis Obispo County. So they have these fries, garlic parmesan fries, and they are insanely good. So good that my mother started making them. They are great and easy to make.

  • Three tablespoons fresh thyme, minced.
  • Five garlic cloves, pressed or minced.
  • One and a half sticks of butter, brought to room temperature.
  • Three or four large potatoes, peeled and cut into strips.
  • Four garlic cloves, pressed or minced.
  • One tablespoon olive oil.
  • 1/4 cup grated parmesan.
  • 1/2 cup fresh parmesan.
  • Salt, to taste.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Take your chicken, clean it out and rinse it off. Place it in a baking dish and set to the side.

In a microwave safe bowl, place a whole stick of butter and mix in two cloves of pressed garlic. Mix in minced thyme, and place in the microwave for 45 seconds. Soon mixture over the entire chicken, salt, and place it in the oven. Baste every fifteen minutes until the chicken is fully cooked(fifteen minutes for every pound). For optimal flavor, spoon drippings onto your serving of chicken.

While the chicken is roasting, wash off, rinse, and peel potatoes. Cut into strips and set aside. If you have a deep fryer, heat oil to 400 degrees. In another microwave safe boil, put a half stick of butter, olive oil, and garlic. Microwave for one minute. Mix in grated parmesan and salt. Set aside to cool a little.

Place a handful of fries at a time in the deep fryer until golden brown and crispy, about four to five minutes. Salt fries while they are still hot.

Add fresh parmesan to butter mixture. Place fries in the garlic parmesan mixture and toss. Serve!

Now stuff your faces and be happy!

Look at that crispy bird!

Look at that crispy bird!













Effing yum!

Effing yum!

Roasted chicken with a spicy honey glaze and sweet potato mash.

The first couple of recipes I’m going to share is what I made for dinner last night. I have like four whole chickens in my freezer. I know, who the hell has four whole chickens in their freezer? This bitch, right here. They were on sale, so I decided to buy all the chickens! While looking for a good chicken recipe, I came across one on Relish that really caught my eye: spicy glazed chicken. I love the combination of sweet and spicy, so this really appealed to me. But there were a couple of things about this recipe that I wasn’t so jazzed about. First, the recipe calls for skinless chicken breasts. The chicken you’re about to prepare for dinner gave it’s life so you could eat, why in God’s name would you prepare that sucker without the skin?! It will be dry. It won’t have as much flavor. And it just lacks that crispy outside that, let’s face it, we all want when we sink our teeth into some mother fucking chicken. So I opted to do the whole chicken, skin and all. There was also a few ingredients missing from the rub that I thought would make it truly fantastic. So here is my recipe for this chicken….

  • Whole chicken.
  • Two tablespoons chili powder.
  • Two teaspoons pressed or minced garlic.
  • One tablespoon red pepper flakes.
  • One tablespoon ginger.
  • One teaspoon cinnamon.
  • Two tablespoons dark brown sugar.
  • Salt and pepper, to taste.
  • One stick of butter or margarine(softened).
  • 1/2 cup honey.
  • Two tablespoons apple cider vinegar(the regular cheap vinegar that comes in those gigantic jugs is fine as well!)

Preheat your oven for 350 degrees.

In a bowl, combine chili powder, garlic, red pepper flakes, ginger, cinnamon, brown sugar, salt and pepper. Mix in your soft stick of butter until you get a nice, creamy, spicy rub! Set that bowl of awesomeness aside!

In another bowl, mix together your honey and vinegar. Set aside.

Bust out your chicken, rinse it, and empty out all the innards that come with it. Feed those nasty bits to your mutts if your like me and have zero interest of ingesting that crap!

Now it’s time to get your hands dirty! My favorite part! Rub that chicken with your spicy rub. Make sure you get that rub all over the chicken. Pretend like it’s late at night, and your husband is begging you for sex. But don’t rub too vigorously, you want to take your time. You’re not hurrying so it can be over and you can go to sleep.

Place your chicken in your roasting pan and stick that bitch in the oven. Roast 15 minutes per pound. After the first 15 minutes of your chicken being in the oven, spoon your honey and vinegar mixture over the whole chicken. Baste every 15 minutes until the chicken is done. Here is an important tip when roasting a whole chicken: The best way to tell that it is fully cooked is to check out the area where the thy meats the body. Cut into it slightly, and if no blood or pink juices come out, it is fully cooked! Some people check to see if the leg pulls away from the body. But if you can pull it away too easily, it is overcooked and your breasts will be dry. We want juicy chicken boob!

While you’re roasting your chicken, cook and prepare the whipped sweet potatoes. You can find the recipe here, although I altered this one as well. Here is my recipe for it.

  • Two pounds sweet potatoes, peeled.
  • Half stick of butter or margarine(the original recipe calls for a whole stick. Holy shit, that’s a lot of butter. Damn).
  • 1/3 cup sour cream.
  • Two tablespoons dark brown sugar.
  • Salt, to taste.

Peel your sweet potatoes, and cube them. Cubing them before they are cooked will ensure that you won’t be waiting forever for those suckers to boil. I use a pressure cooker, because it really locks in the flavor of the sweet potatoes, but a regular pot will work just fine. While your potatoes are boiling, cream together the butter and brown sugar. Mix in the sour cream and your salt.

After your potatoes are cooked and tender, put them in a stand mixer. You can use a regular mixing bowl and a whisk if that’s what you’ve got, but prepare to have veins in your dominant arm like your 13-year-old son’s. Eww. Pour in the butter, brown sugar, and sour cream mixture, and turn the mixer on full speed until they are creamy and fully whipped.

Serve up your chicken and sweet potato mash! Enjoy! 🙂