Cheddar jalapeno chicken burgers with guacamole

A few weeks ago, a friend on Facebook posted about discovering ground chicken. I made a face. I love chicken, but the visual of ground chicken made me want to throw up and eat it. I don’t know why I felt that way. Probably because raw chicken kind of grosses me out, so the thought of ground raw chicken furthered that feeling of gross-ness.

Yesterday I changed my opinion on ground chicken when I saw a recipe for cheddar jalapeno chicken burgers with guacamole. I made them tonight for dinner, and sweet baby Jesus they were amazing!




  • One pound ground chicken breast
  • One cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 cilantro, chopped
  • 1/2 cup white onion, chopped and sautéed
  • One fresh jalapeno, finally chopped without the seeds(unless you want to die)
  • One tablespoon ground cumin
  • One teaspoon salt

Easy as pie, mix all the shit together and form into patties. I recommend making them as flat as possible. The first one I grilled was too thick, and it took an annoyingly long time to cook all the way.

Now for my guacamole recipe! I get annoyed when I see guacamole recipes online, they are weak! Guacamole should be full of flavor!

  • Three medium, ripe avocados
  • 1/4 cup red onion, chopped
  • 1/4 cup cilantro, minced
  • One tablespoon sour cream
  • One teaspoon mayonnaise
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • One teaspoon lemon pepper(this is KEY, believe me!)
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
  • Splash of lime juice

With a fork or potato masher(or whatever the fuck those things are called), mash the avocados in a bowl. Add onion, cilantro, sour cream, mayonnaise, salt, lemon pepper, cumin and lime juice. Mix together. I promise you will love this guacamole more than life itself.



Feta, spinach, onion and pepper quesadillas!

It’s lunch time! I made something today for my lunch that I’ve made hundreds of times since I found the recipe on Pinterest. It’s a quesadilla filled with feta cheese, caramelized onions and peppers, and spinach. It sounds like a somewhat odd combination, but it is really delicious, and I haven’t met a single person I’ve shared this recipe with that didn’t love it. My son loves it too, and I would definitely consider it a kid friendly recipe as it is very rich tasting, but has lots of veggies in it. It’s a recipe I would also consider a pretty healthy one. With all the spinach, you can’t go wrong! And one reason I love feta cheese so much is it has far fewer calories than most other cheeses, but still packs a lot of flavor.

Please excuse how dark this picture is! I scarfed down my lunch before realizing I hadn’t snapped a picture of it, and I had to go looking through my Instagram pictures to find one of it.


  • One large tortilla
  • 1/2 cup feta cheese
  • One and a half cups spinach, chopped
  • 1/4 cup onions, sliced
  • 1/4 cup yellow peppers, sliced
  • 1/2 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1/2 tablespoon butter

In a skillet, heat up oil and butter. The best reason to use a combination is because the butter keeps the oil from burning. Add peppers and onions, with a little salt, and saute until both are caramelized. Only add spinach when the peppers and onions are finished, because spinach cooks very quickly! Put in a bowl and set aside. Put a little more oil in the skillet, and lay the tortilla flat inside. Put your cheese on one half of the tortilla, add veggies, and fold. Cook until crisp on both sides.

Chile relleno casserole and shrimp ceviche.

Today’s lunch, chile relleno casserole and shrimp ceviche! I effing love chile relleno, and I love shrimp ceviche even more! What I liked about the idea of a casserole, is that chile relleno can be a bit time-consuming to make. This makes it quick meal, winning! I’ve also created a tangy and creamy sauce to go atop of it, instead of using the traditional red enchilada sauce which for me, tastes a little too overpowering.


For the casserole and sauce:

  • Four eggs
  • Two tablespoons flour
  • One teaspoon salt
  • Three 10 ounce cans green chiles, split
  • 8 ounces shredded Monterey jack cheese
  • One cup sour cream
  • Three tablespoons juice from the can of green chiles
  • One tablespoon cumin

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In a bowl, mix egg, flour and salt, set aside. In a casserole dish, put a layer of chile, a layer of cheese, and keep going until you run out of both. Pour egg mixture over top and bake until egg mixture is fluffy and cooked, about 15 to 20 minutes. Fucking easy, right! Hell yes!

For the sauce, combine sour cream, cumin, a little salt to taste, and the juice from the can of chiles. Bam! Sauce done!

For the shrimp ceviche:

  • One pound of small, raw shrimp
  • Two avocados, cut into small cubes
  • One large tomato, diced
  • One medium cucumber, peeled and diced
  • 1/4 cup cilantro, diced
  • One Serrano chile, seeds taken out and diced(tip: the easiest way to get the seeds out of a chile is to roll the pepper across your surface with your palm three or four times. Cut the end off, and the seeds will come right out. Bam!)
  • Medium red onion, diced
  • 1/4 cup lemon juice
  • 1/4 cup lime juice
  • One tablespoon cumin
  • Teaspoon salt

Bring a pot of water to a boil, and boil shrimp for approximately 1 minute and 30 seconds. Any longer and you’ll end up with some rubbery ass shrimp. Unless that’s your thing, I’m assuming it’s not. Set the shrimp aside to cool completely. Chop shrimp and put it in a bowl. Add veggies, lemon and lime juice, cumin and salt. Mix that shit up and you’re ready to go! You can eat the ceviche by itself or enjoy it with tortilla chips or crackers.

Grilled spinach and avocado sandwich with muenster cheese and feta.

Good morning bitches! Or evening, wherever you may reside. I’ve got another busy day, but I wanted to share a quick recipe before I start my work for the day. I discovered this recipe on Pinterest(you’ll notice a trend…I love Pinterest, and shamelessly!), and it is one of the yummiest recipes I’ve come across. It has all my favorite elements; avocado, spinach, and CHEESE. It seems like a really naughty lunch to eat if you’re trying to keep track of your calories, but it’s a great lunch to have. Avocado is full of healthy fats, spinach is good for you, and the cheese gives it a rich and creamy taste that you just can’t beat. The original recipe calls for goat cheese. I mentioned in a previous post how I feel about goat cheese, no. Just, no. Whenever I see goat cheese in a recipe I always swap it out for feta because the texture is similar but it doesn’t taste like shit.



  • Two slices wheat bread
  • Half avocado, sliced
  • Half cup of spinach, chopped
  • One slice Muenster cheese
  • 1/4 cup feta cheese

Add a little olive oil to a pan on medium heat. When the pan is hot, put one slice of bread on said pan. Sprinkle your feta cheese on the bread first(so it doesn’t fall off of your sandwich while you’re making it. That would be tragic.), and then add your Muenster cheese. Add your chopped spinach(I suggest chopping it because trying to put whole leaves of spinach on this sandwich is a real bitch), and put your avocado slices on top. When the bottom of your bread slice is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt, put your spatula under it. Put your other bread slice on top, and carefully flip it over so all the goodies on the inside won’t fall out(again, that would be tragic).

Enjoy! And don’t forget, please let me know how you like these recipes when you try them out!

Baja Salmon with twice fried plantain bananas.

I love salmon, it’s my favorite fish! It’s flavorful, good for your brain, and pink! So today for lunch I decided to make Baja salmon with twice fried plantain bananas on the side. This recipe took a little work and a little time, but I can assure you that if you have a little patience, and can keep your kids out of trouble long enough for you to make this in peace, it will be worth it!

I saw this recipe online yesterday while looking for a good salmon recipe. I have a boatload of salmon filets in my freezer, it’s time to use them! But I altered this recipe quite a bit. The original recipe calls for mushrooms in the corn salsa. MUSHROOMS? What the hell is Baja about mushrooms? No. Just, no. Mushrooms are an earthy vegetable, and in my opinion don’t belong anywhere near fish, let alone mixed in a corn salsa. Whoever created this recipe, you should be shamed of yourselves! I also wanted to add a creamy element to the fish, as the corn salsa only called for lemon and lime juice to mix into it.

Now, there are a few different ways you can go about cooking salmon. You can pan fry it, grill it, or bake it. I like to bake it. It’s the best way, in my opinion, to keep it nice and juicy. Plus it won’t fall apart due to needing to flip it over. Fuck that shit! Here is my recipe of today’s lunch!

  • Two salmon filets, cut in half. 
  • Olive oil.
  • One lemon.
  • Two limes.
  • 1/4 cup sour cream or greek yogurt.
  • Salt and pepper to taste.
  • One cup frozen white corn.
  • 1/2 cup red bell pepper, diced.
  • 1/4 cup cilantro leaves, minced.
  • 1/2 cup red onion, diced.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

What I really loved about this Baja salmon the most, was the seasoning I used to put on it. It takes a little work, but it’s so tasty, you’ll love it! Take your lemon, and your two limes. Take a fine cheese grader, and collect the zest. Set aside.

Mix corn, diced onions and bell peppers, cilantro leaves, and sour cream. Juice your lemon and one lime into the mix. To make juicing the lemon and lime easier, put the palm of your hand over them and roll back and forth with a little bit of pressure. This will keep you from  having to squeeze the shit out of them and get lemon juice in your eyes and all over the place. Put a pinch of salt in the corn salsa, and stir. Set aside.

Place a piece of foil over a baking sheet, and place cut salmon filets on the foil. Lightly brush olive oil over each salmon filet, and sprinkle the zest mixture over top each filet. Lightly salt and pepper each filet. Lightly wrap the salmon filets with the foil, careful not to mess up the marinade on top. Bake the salmon for 12 to 15 minutes. Top with corn salsa goodness when fish is served! Effing yum!

Before you put your salmon in the oven, preheat a deep fryer(if you have one) to 325 degrees. If you don’t have a deep fryer, you can pan fry them, but make sure the oil is this hot in the pan. If you are pan frying them and not deep frying them, I suggest getting started on the plantains before you put your salmon in the oven. Fish cools off pretty quickly and you don’t want to serve hot bananas with cold fish.

I got this recipe from an old friend’s father. He is Puerto Rican, and made twice fried plantain bananas pretty often. They are one of my favorite foods. They are sweet, have a firmer texture than regular bananas, and are amazing fried, with a pinch of salt and some lime juice!

  • Two ripe plantain bananas.
  • Vegetable or canola oil for frying.
  • Lime juice.
  • Salt to taste.
  • Two cups water.

Slice your plantain bananas. You can use a knife, or if you have one, use a banana slicer. Don’t know what one is? Please read the review for these on Amazon, hilarious! Make sure your bananas are compatible with said banana slicer!

Fry your bananas until they are a golden color. Place them on parchment paper. With a spatula, or with your hand(if your hardcore and dig hot oil), smash those banana slices! Take the banana slices and soak them in water for approximately one minute. This will moisten them up a bit so they aren’t dry when you fry them again.

DRY off the banana slices! If you put wet banana slices back in hot oil, I’m not going to feel sorry for you when the oil splatters the shit out of you. Just saying. I don’t like stupidity!

Fry the bananas at 325 degrees for 2 to 3 minutes. Sprinkle with salt, drizzle some lime, and you’re done!

I hope you all enjoy this recipe! It is a new favorite in this house. My two year old ate that shit like it was fishy gold!